At the crossroads...

and so it goes I come to another one of those dreaded crossroads in life. There’s this line I read in this book the other day. It went ‘the only things I regret are the things I did not do . It rings a huge church bell in my head. Life’s been all about taking those safe roads and avoiding the road less travelled. Unfortunately the road much travelled is again made up of many crossroads where that decision to take or not to take hits you.

I’ve been here before and while it’s been extremely inconvenient ; the light always shines through.

This time though (158 hours and counting) the light hasn’t come. I’ve made up my mind and backtracked and done this routine that would tire a hamster on a wheel and give it a heart attack.

We normally do not behave in this manner. We take a decision and stick with it. We abhor indecisiveness but unfortunately we become the things we hate.

But I see where this comes from. All my life it’s always been about uprooting and rebuilding. Build a huge fucking castle and then strap it with so much dynamite that it would make Wile E Coyote stand up and applaud.

Walk far away to my little box that says TNT and boom…beep beep.

I’m getting a little tired of it now. I want to donate my TNT to Africa , retire, build a home, smoke a pipe and rape natives.

Unfortunately this time the crossroad has a huge neon lit sign (its dark) that says ----------------->“Go here.” It’s good for you; it is the land of milk and barbiturates

But like I said the shock of uprooting might kill me. Make me weak and kill me slowly….I’d be like Catherine Earnshaw, unable to get out of bed, go bonkers, give birth to a baby and die. (or something like that)

So just this one time please someone listen to Othello and someone take that neon lit sign and put out the light and then put out the light.

I just want to stand here for a bit. I know nothing lasts forever but just for a wee bit ….don’t change anything.